After giving that question some thought, I'm realizing that I just need to be strong and talk to the one job and tell them that I can not work on Sundays first of all and I need to tell them that I can ONLY work 2-4 times a week but the majority of those times need to be during the week, I'd much rather work 2 or 3 long days at both jobs than keep doing this working the one job Mon-Thurs and then working the other job Thurs-Sun that's what's overwhelming, I don't have a single full day off and not only do I need that but my daughters need it as well. Plus, I don't have time to work on and pursue my dreams when I'm working so much. So, it looks as though I'm going to go talk to them tomorrow.
The second thing I realize is that I need to get our lifestyle back on track, I need to take the time to prepare healthy home cooked meals, because the truth is although Paleo and Gluten Free is not for everyone I notice the difference it makes in how my girls and I feel and how we take on our activities, when we don't stick to this way of life, my girls are much more whiny, crying more and are less energetic, and I'm the same way. So I'm going to stick to that too.
The third thing? I need to get to the gym more and if I can't make it to the gym I need to find the time to exercise at home, even if it's something as simple as hooping or doing Kinect sports or a work-out video. Along with that though, I think I'm going to start looking into Yoga to help center myself, even if it's just a few simple poses for a few minutes a day. Also, meditation is key! I haven't been meditating as much as I should and I don't feel the way I used to. I'm not as positive, I'm crying more, I'm more depressed, I'm more burnt out.
Finally, I need to figure out how to manage my time so that I can do all the things listed above as well as do well in all my classes, keep the house clean, and MOST importantly, spend time with my daughters! I had a heart-to-heart with Maia tonight and that's what brought this change on, she was sitting in my lap and she just started crying and I asked her what was going on, and she said, "I miss you Mommy". That was it, even now it's bringing tears to my eyes, because when your 4 year old tells you that she misses you and then when you ask her why and her response is, "Cause I don't see you anymore". That means that as much as I'm trying to be the mommy I want to be by providing my girls with the best life possible, I'm not being the Mommy they need me to be...and that needs to change, my girls are the light of my life, without them I don't know what I would do...So there you go, the change is happening and it's happening now.
Keep in mind that your girls are used to you not working much at all. If you need to work forty hours a week to make ends meet, you'll just have to explain that to them and let them get used to it. It's part of life. Maybe you should try getting one full time job instead of two part time ones so your schedule will be more steady.
ReplyDeleteI've thought about that, but I just recently started working at both jobs and I love them both so much, although it's very hard. I've decided I'm going to continue doing both jobs until the Summer (that's when school gets out, I'm a para-educator and resource teacher at our local elementary school) and I don't think it would be fair to quit right now, however as I'll be a few months a way from graduating with a degree in Business:Hospitality, Travel, and Tourism this Summer I may be able to get a job at a company full time where I can start using my degree, because it's true it will be a lot easier to only work one job, plus when I start Culinary school in January 2015 depending on where I decide to go, I'll probably have to do at least a few classes on campus.
DeleteSo I have to say, I appreciate your comment but can you understand a little where I'm coming from when I say I can't give up on the two jobs I have right now? Plus, although I won't be doing it as a career (please read my previous post In Short: The Truth, The Plan, The Dream) I love working with special needs children.
UPDATE: I was able to talk to job the second and they did say they are going to work with my schedule as much as they can :)
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